So part of the “over haul my life” strategy is to STOP drinking. That is everything from a “you deserve it, its been a hard day pal” glass of wine to my weekends all out, partying hard shot fest of a binge.
ZERO, ZILTCH. NONE.
I have vowed to myself that the alcohol has to stop, and tee-total IS the ONLY way to do it. It is the devil on my shoulder of rationality and the border control of my continent Insania. I still cannot face going into the whys and hows of this decision. I can feel the anxiety and despair rising at the thought of past alcohol induced manic attacks and corresponding actions and impacts. The most recent “attack” really has been a shock to my system as to how vulnerable and susceptible to psychosis I am under the “influence”… I will go there……just not today. Ultimately I let it happen.
So the date of my last ever alcoholic drink was the 28th of January 2013. I had two cans of larger with a meal and really enjoyed them. I like the thought that my last taste of synapse confuddling venom was a pleasant one. I am weird like that. That is it I have made a commitment. Cravings are low today, in all fairness they have been since that fateful night I was shocked into a lifestyle altering mindset.
I feel fine today really. Anxiety is low to negligible. Depression is gone. Energy is high and I have had what I would consider a nice day. Walked the dog with him, then bathed dog, cleaned the house, cleaned the garden. A busy buzzy day 🙂 A frosty and bright Winter day. Perfect mind clearing weather.
Week 6 on Prozac has brought about an abstinence that is some what involuntary. My lubrication system appears to have stopped working at its full potential….Him is insatiable at the moment due to my “high” so this is not good….. I will revisit my thoughts on that one, once I know what to think